Birds of Prey
by Courier999
Summary: Part 3 of the Invisible Man arc. Isadora gets caught up in the web in Vegas. Rated T for cursing, violence, suggestive moments. R&R!
1. Chapter 1

A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS- Birds of Prey

_A Series of Unfortunate Events_ is property of HarperCollins.

JULY 6.

"I am not a moron!" A woman's voiced screeched.

"Admit it- you're a moron who I happened to be near too long!" Another woman yelled.

"Don't forget that I-"

"This is not your home!"

"Fine!"

Isadora Quagmire shrugged. When would those two ever stop? Just then, a red-faced Moira Tucker stomped down the stairs.

JULY 7.

The Invisible Man lit his Havana cigar. It was a dull week- no contracts to take, no Operatives to hunt down, and nothing else to do. At least it would be until his order of next-gen military equipment arrived…

JULY 8.

Isadora quietly poured a tumbler of gin. With Violet's pregnancy advancing, Isadora often had to deal with the fights between her best friend/sister-in-law and Moira. It was bad enough that Moira's usual cheeriness was enough to make some people annoyed- but with Violet's mood swings- watch out. Quigley's absence due to VFD missions was also a factor in Violet's mental state. So to soothe her nerves, Isadora had taken to drink.

JULY 9.

Malcolm Shepard could barely believe it. _Tanks_? The Invisible Man had _tanks_ now?

"Damn…this guy has everything." Clint Fox muttered.

JULY 15.

The Vegas Strip was lit up like a Christmas Tree. Near the middle of the Strip was the Xanadu Hotel, an Art Deco-inspired building. The place was run by the mysterious "Ignatius Mann". The main draw was the jazz orchestra and the "Birds of Prey"- a trio of female singers similar to the Rockettes. It was here that Isadora Quagmire began her search for the "Invisible Man"- and she had the dumbest woman she knew in tow.


	2. Chapter 2

JULY 15.

"Are you sure we're after the right guy?" Moira asked.

Isadora nodded. With luck, she'd be on the Invisible Man's trail by breakfast. The two had managed to infiltrate by claiming to be two of the "Birds of Prey". Time to see if their bluff had worked.

Isadora's eyes narrowed in at the crowd. At a poker table, she saw a distinctive pair of triangular glasses- Fiona Widdershins was there. But there was something else going on…

Malcolm Shepard was perched on the balcony. "Ignatius Mann"- one of his employer's numerous aliases- had tipped him off to Operative Kynes being at the Xanadu. Nearby, a sniper rifle- complete with suppressor- was mounted on a tripod. Shepard chuckled. _This should be easy._ The former soldier thought. He put his eye to the scope, and prepared to fire.

The sound of a very large copy of a combined Oxford English Dictionary, Encyclopedia Britannica, and thesaurus echoed through the room. Shepard fumed. He had missed Operative Kynes by a country mile, and his bullet had left a hole in the wall across the room- not in his target's skull. However, he aimed at Operative Quigley Quagmire for his second shot. Another shot was fired- but the gun misfired.

"Stupid gun!" Malcolm Shepard muttered under his breath.

Meanwhile, the A-101 "Incisor" gunships that the "Invisible Man" had ordered were on the move towards Vegas…

JULY 16.

"Shepard, I want an explanation as to why Operatives Kynes and Quagmire are still alive." The Invisible Man ordered.

"The gun jammed on me." Shepard replied.

"Anyways, that plan went out the window. Plan B is heavy firepower." The Invisible Man answered back, exhaling a large cloud of smoke.

"Elaborate, boss." Shepard requested.

"It's simple. We have the new A-101 gunships that the USAF requested. Furthermore, we have a few Israeli tanks." The Invisible Man replied.

"Does it matter where the tanks are from?" Shepard asked.

"As a general rule, Israeli weapons are top of the line. This includes tanks." The Invisible Man answered.

"Any American tanks?" Shepard asked.

"A platoon's worth of Sherman tanks." The Invisible Man answered.

Meanwhile, Moira Tucker woke up as the sun rose over the Vegas Strip. She looked at the alarm clock. 6:00 A.M. Best to get an early start.

The hotel room's shower was large enough for two- and co-showering was almost a norm in the Southwest. And since Isadora and Moira were having to share a suite, the two were in the same shower…

Isadora Quagmire had recognized that Moira, for all her surprising idiocy, had been quite attractive. No wonder Duncan Quagmire had fallen for her…

Elsewhere, Quigley Quagmire had a Beretta to Fiona Widdershins's head. Operative Kynes watched the questioning from an old armchair.

"Question 1: Who shot the gun last night?" Quigley growled.

"What gun?" Fiona retorted.

"Spit it out!" Quigley snapped, driving the gun closer to her temples.

"It was Malcolm Shepard!" Fiona fearfully answered.

"Question 2: Who was he targeting?" Quigley snarled.

"Kynes!" Fiona yelped.

Quigley pulled the gun in his direction.

"Question 3: Who was he working for?" Quigley calmly asked.

"The Invisible Man." Fiona answered.

Quigley and Kynes left the room, with a tied up Fiona Widdershins still in there.

"She didn't know it wasn't loaded." Quigley piped up.

"I thought it was loaded." Kynes replied.


	3. Chapter 3

JULY 16.

Following the intense interrogation session at the Xanadu, Quigley Quagmire and Operative Kynes set up a rendezvous with Moira Tucker and Isadora Quagmire at the Shackleton Lounge at 2:00 P.M.

The Shackleton Lounge was not unlike many of the Vegas Strip's establishments in that it was themed. The particular theme was "Polar", as the large pool containing penguins, seals, and other such creatures demonstrated. It was the ideal place to "beat the heat", as it were.

At 2:00 P.M, Isadora Quagmire entered the Shackleton Lounge. Moira Tucker followed 5 minutes later. The meeting began at 2:10 P.M.

"Moira- what are you doing here?" Quigley sputtered.

"I figured she might be of some use." Isadora replied to her brother.

Kynes poured another shot of scotch.

"Come to think of it-"

"Quigley, we know the Invisible Man is up to something, and he's near Las Vegas. I have-"

"Izzy, it's worse than we thought. Fiona Widdershins is working with him-"

"Moira knows that. She has…insider knowledge-"

"She's a dim lightbulb-"

"She was fighting with Violet daily-"

"Your point is-"

"If Violet's hormones weren't on overdrive, we wouldn't be having this conversation-"

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, PEACE!" Kynes shouted.

That got everyone's attention.

"Can I go get another drink?" Moira asked.

"Yes, Ms. Tucker." Kynes answered.

At another table, Harleen Montgomery readied a light machine gun. She smiled slightly, and then pulled the trigger.

"MOIRA! HIT THE DECK!" Isadora yelled.

Before Isadora could get out of her chair, Quigley jumped up, ran towards the bar, and knocked Moira to the floor as bullets flew and bottles of liquor shattered.

"Kynes! Get Isadora out of here!" Quigley shouted at the top of his lungs.

The seasoned Operative was two steps ahead of Quigley, using a table as a shield. Isadora leaned out from cover and started shooting with her pistol. Just then, the shooting stopped- Harleen Montgomery was out of ammo. Suddenly, a small object flew towards the group.

"Bloody hell- flashbang!" Kynes shouted.

The flashbang exploded in midair.

Later that day, Moira took a good look at herself in the mirror. A busted lip from Quigley's body slam was the main injury at the moment. Her cocktail dress had been almost shredded by bullets and flying glass shards.

Elsewhere, Quigley was interrogating Harleen Montgomery.

"Question 1: Who are you working for?" Quigley demanded.

"Some whacko calling himself the 'Invisible Man'." Harleen retorted.

"Question 2: Where'd you get that gun?" Quigley snarled.

"Clint Fox." Harleen answered.

Quigley ended the session, and left the police to deal with the crazed electrician.

"Kynes, we've got trouble. Clint Fox is with the Invisible Man." Quigley radioed.

"May God help us all." Kynes solemnly replied


End file.
